


Stuck In Reverse

by schervy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Homosexuality, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Nudity, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/684824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schervy/pseuds/schervy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Harry wants to beat Louis at lazer tag and Louis wants to eat and they both want to be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stuck In Reverse

Louis stared at him while he was sleeping. It was incredibly hard not to. 

“Uugh,” Harry sighed, rolling onto his back. Louis gasped at the sight of his stomach, taut abs and four nipples. He wanted to lick them.

He needed to leave before he did anything stupid. Louis backed out of the room and left the door open as he found it, walking quickly past Niall’s room to reach his own. He shrugged into a jumper, coat, and boots and left the house as fast as he could possibly move.

Louis wound up at the library on campus, where he normally goes when he needs to think about other things. His stomach grumbled as he settled down at a table. He knew there was a coffee shop over by the fiction section, but decided against eating. He thought to the guy Harry had been hanging out with lately. Was it Rick? Nick? Whoever it was, when he showed up at the house Louis had gotten a good glance of him. Bone thin, perfect cheekbones, abs. Louis stared down at his tummy sadly. He definitely didn’t have abs. An hour later his stomach rumbled again, a little more forcefully. He tried to remember when he had last eaten, but couldn’t. The rumbling continued on, and he treated himself to a few Tic Tacs.

_Ooh, girl shocked me like an electric eel. Baby girl; turn me on with your electric feel._

He groped through his bag looking for his phone. He couldn’t find it, and people were glaring at him. Louis blushed red when he realized it was right on the table. This phone call better be worth it, what with all the embarrassment it caused him.

“Hello?” he snapped into the phone, whispering, of course. He didn’t need any more heated glances in his direction, thank you very much.

“Hey man, where are you?” a deep, sleepy voice asked. His heart skipped when he realized it was Harry. 

“Um, the library.”

“Why? I thought last night you said you didn’t have any homework,” Harry stated, sounding confused. 

_To get away from you_ , Louis thought, squirming in his seat. Harry was so perceptive; of course he would remember Louis saying that last night and know he had no reason to be at the library.

“Just thought I could get ahead of the class a bit,” Louis mumbled shyly, staring at the cover of his Psych II textbook. Harry paused for a second, and Louis knew that Harry knew he was lying.

“Well, Liam says you left the house two hours ago. Aren’t you bored? I’ll walk over and we can go get something to eat? I haven’t seen you in forever man,” Harry chatted happily into the phone. 

“Sure, cya,” Louis said with a smile, not that Harry could see.

As much as Louis wanted to think it was just two friends hanging out, he didn’t. He couldn’t help but think that he and Harry were going out on a date. He had a deluded mind and didn’t even care. As long as it was in his head, why would it matter if he pretended a little bit?

He saw a tall, thin figure round the corner outside. Harry. Louis knew this would be the only time to take in Harry’s appearance this evening, so he savored it.  
Harry had black jeans that were sculpted to his toothpick legs. He could clearly make out the phone and keys in his back pocket when he turned around to wave at someone. He wore a deep green puffy jacket and a grey beanie over his wonderful mess of hair. Louis saved his face for last, knowing it would make him wish he had never met the younger lad. Even from this distance, Louis could see the green eyes that he knew and loved. The square of Harry’s jaw, his perfectly rounded, bright red lips, the dimples right off the corners of those gorgeous lips. This led Louis to think, _why was Harry smiling in the middle of the street?_ Of course he was smiling at nothing. Just smiling because he wanted to.

Louis realized his nose was pressed up against the glass of the window and his jaw was touching the floor. He regained his composure just as Harry spotted him and waved, flashing a small smile that nearly knocked Louis over. After gathering all of his textbooks and folders he sprinted out of the library, only slowing to a walk when he was in Harry’s line of sight. _Just act cool, Louis._

“Hey,” Louis said quietly as he approached Harry. His stomach gurgled, and he coughed to cover up the noise.

“Hey Lou!” Harry hollered, throwing an arm around the older man’s waist. Louis knew the hug was totally innocent, yet still turned bright red.  
“Zayn called me on my way over here and asked if we were up to laser tag, and I said it was cool, are you alright with that? We could still go eat if you want to,” Harry asked as they started walking back home. Louis sighed in relief; he wasn’t exactly looking forward to eating. Especially while Harry was with him. 

“Naw, that sounds great,” He said happily, confidence coming back as soon as the plans for eating disappeared. Harry pulled out his phone to text someone.

“Zayn says to be at the place in like an hour. This is gunna be siiiiiiccckkk!” He exclaimed, skipping a few steps before stopping and turning to look at Louis, “Be on the opposite team as me, I’m gunna kick your ass!”

Louis’ stuttered a step at the look in Harry’s eyes. It was _fierce_. He knew Harry was a bit on the competitive side, but not like this! His eyes were practically flaming.

“We’ll see,” Louis mumbled as he continued walking, looking at the chipped grey cement.

~

They got home about ten minutes later, walking in comfortable silence. Well, Harry thought it was comfortable, at least.

Harry had known Louis for about two years, so he could easily tell when something was bothering his older friend. He chose not to ask though, worrying he would upset Louis more than help him. When he unlocked the door to their house, Harry couldn’t help but think about the first time he met Louis, and his three other best friends.

Harry was only 17 at the time. He got accepted into Uni a year early because he was so smart. He knew people were going to judge him for being so young, but he was ready to accept that. Whatever it took to get a good education and a good job. He didn’t want to live in a dormitory though, the idea of having one room to share with a stranger didn’t sound very appealing to him. He had money saved up, he could pay for rent. But now came the trouble of finding a house.

Harry and his mother, Anne, searched through advertisements they found in the newspaper, phone poles and online. They eventually found someone.

They found the house on campus and met with the owner, Louis Tomlinson. He was nineteen, a psych student who was eager to have someone to live with. The house used to be Louis’ fathers, but he gave it to Louis as a graduation gift. Louis’ dad still paid most of the rent, so Harry only had to put down 100 pounds a month. It was an excellent deal, and Louis seemed like an excellent roommate. Harry moved in the very next day.

Harry soon found out that a blonde fellow named Niall already lived there. He didn’t go to school, but rather liked to drink beer and laze around all day. To this day Harry doesn’t know how Niall pays his share of the rent, and frankly, doesn’t really want to.

Liam and Zayn moved in a few months later. They weren’t a couple then, just two friends who got kicked out of the dorms for smoking-Zayn-, and getting drunk too much-Liam-. They started officially dating a few months ago, but they could’ve been considered a couple from the beginning. Harry had never seen two people so perfectly meant to be than Zayn and Liam.

“You want some tea?” Louis asked from the kitchen, shattering Harry’s nostalgic moment.

“Yes please!” He replied happily. Harry liked that Louis knew he liked tea after being out in the cold. Harry also liked that Louis knew exactly how he liked his tea, milk and enough sugar to make him diabetic. Louis often teased on how he was going to get diabetes, but Harry kept asking for more sugar, liking the way Louis playfully flirted with him. “Here you are,” Louis said proudly, handing the hot mug to Harry and plopping down on the couch.

“None for you?” Harry asked skeptically. Louis enjoyed tea after cold walks just as much as he did.

“No, I’m not thirsty,” Louis responded awkwardly, removing his eyes from Harry’s gaze, looking for something to distract himself with. He spotted the remote and flipped the TV on. Pornographic moans filled the room. He looked at the screen and saw two men being very…friendly with each other. He flipped the TV off, feeling uncomfortable.  
“I don’t know how Niall does it,” Harry murmured while sipping on his tea.

“Does what?” Louis questioned, happy that Harry dropped the whole not-drinking-tea subject.

“Live in a house full of gay guys,” Harry finished calmly, flicking his tongue out to catch a drop of tea before it fell of his lip. Louis laughed, and it sounded like music.

“The lad sure has balls, I’ll give him that!” Louis uttered, still laughing. Harry smiled at his giggling; he hadn’t heard it in so long.

They watched an old Sherlock Holmes show while waiting for Zayn to text them. Harry had figured out the solution to the mystery before Holmes did himself, which impressed Louis immensely. No wonder this kid got into school so early. Speaking of the smartest person on Earth, Harry’s phone buzzed, lighting up the dark room.

“The guys are already there, we should get going,” Harry mumbled, shaking Louis. 

“Mmkay,” Louis yawned and sat up, not realizing he had been dozing off against Harry. He blushed scarlet and looked up into those gorgeous green eyes, not seeing anger in them. More like…desire, or maybe sadness. 

They left the house and started to walk into town. It wasn’t a long walk, but it was absolutely freezing outside. Louis felt incredibly stupid for only wearing a sweatshirt. He shivered.

“Are you cold? Here,” Harry unzipped his green jacket and handed it over to Louis, “Don’t try to object, either. We’re almost there, I won’t get cold.”

Louis sighed and shoved his sleeves through the jacket and zipped it up. He was enveloped in warmth and the cinnamon and mint smell that was Harry. He felt faint.

Luck was on his side though, and he remained standing up right. They rounded a corner and saw the bright orange and green building.

“Hey you guys!” Harry exclaimed. Louis looked around and saw that it wasn’t just Harry, Niall Zayn, and Liam that were here. One of Harry’s best mates, Ed, was standing off to the side, sharing a cigarette with someone Louis didn’t know. A good friend of his, Stan, was also there. A few girls were in the throng of people as well, including Eleanor, Danielle and Perrie. Louis smiled and greeted them all, noticing Harry’s glare when he hugged Eleanor. Louis and Eleanor used to date before he found out he was gay, and Harry got jealous. He didn’t want Louis to all of sudden turn straight again being around her.

“Alright, I think we have everyone,” Zayn said, looking over a list on his phone, “Oh, wait. Where’s Nick?”

Louis felt his stomach clench up. Of course, someone just _had_ to invite the guy he hated most! He took a few deep breaths and pulled out his phone, pretending to text someone so no one would notice his angry watery eyes.

A car screeched to a stop in an obvious no parking zone, and out popped Nick Grimshaw. His tall, boney, figure stopped in front of the group of people. Louis felt vile raise in his throat. He was tempted to spit, but he knew Harry thought spitting was gross. Nick just then spit on the ground, and Louis smiled devilishly. He looked for Harry’s reaction and saw the disgusted look on his face.

“Sorry I’m late, this guy I shagged last night wouldn’t leave my house,” Nick boasted, causing a few people to look away awkwardly.

“Hm. Well. That’s everyone,” Zayn muttered, then turned to the front desk to check us in.  
They all suited up in the bulky laser tag gear. As promised, Louis was on the opposite team as Harry. He saw Harry smile from across the room his he tugged on the green helmet. “Good luck. You’ll need it!” Harry said, bubbly as ever, pulling on his orange helmet. Maybe Louis was just going crazy, but he swore he felt Harry lightly tap his ass. He shook his head to clear it and looked around.

He saw his team members were Eleanor, Perrie, Niall, Stan, and the guy he didn’t recognize. Harry’s team included Danielle, Liam, Ed, Zayn and Nick. Louis tried not to groan at the fact Nick and Harry were on a team together.

They all had their guns and gear ready, and the two teams split up into separate rooms. 

“3, 2, 1,” A speaker announced over the excited talking of the teams. A buzzer went off and they all filed into a dark room, filed with things to duck and hide behind. There were black lights, so only orange and green splatters on the wall provided light. And, of course, the running and screaming people around him.

Louis felt his stomach rumble again, and this time it was painful. He ignored it and loaded his gun, aiming at the first orange helmet he saw. _Yes! Head shot!_

He continued to run around and shoot people, rolling around and doing somersaults like he was James Bond. No one had even shot him yet! He crawled into a four foot high tube in the darkest corner of the room to catch his breath. The electronic scores listed on the wall showed he was in first, leading his team ahead by 10 points. 

“Boo,” A deep voice said suddenly, putting a gun to the sensor on his helmet.

“Harry, you better not shoot me!” Louis wailed, not wanted to lose his spot at number one. He was never number one. At anything. It was a nice feeling.

“I won’t…yet. But I want you to promise me something,” Harry whispered in his ear, gun still at his head.

“An-anything!” Louis mumbled, blushing furiously. Harry sounded so…seductive. Like he was flirting with Louis! Louis knew he was nowhere _near_ good enough for Harry, but it was still nice to pretend.

“When we go home I want to talk to you. You have to be absolutely honest about anything I might ask during this conversation. Are we clear?” Harry rasped, his lips touching the shell of Louis’ ear.

“Yes, we’re clear!” Louis said, enjoying the feel of Harry’s lips on his skin. 

“Good.”

Then he was gone. Louis sighed in relief that Harry didn’t shoot him, and saw he was still number one! In second place was Nick, and Louis didn’t like that. He rolled out of the tube and took off, adrenaline racing though him after that encounter with Harry. He shot every orange thing he saw, sometimes the spots on the walls. He _had_ to win. He _had_ to beat Nick. 

He suddenly felt dizzy, his stomach growling angrily. Louis sat down in a corner and put his head between his knees, trying to sort out his fatigue. 

“What’s wrong, kid? “ A voice asked from above him. Louis peaked up and saw none other than Nick Grimshaw standing above him.

“Nothing, Nick. Just tired,” Louis responded, forcing a smile. _Kill them with kindness_ , he suddenly thought, pulling himself up. Nick held the orange gun up to his chest. Louis still hadn’t been shot, and didn’t want to wreck his perfect record. He held his gun up, but Nick pushed it out of his hands. Louis watched in skid across the floor. He saw the electronic scores on the wall, one more head shot and Nick will beat him and win the game for the orange team. Nick pulled the trigger.

“Fuck,” he muttered, turning around. Eleanor stood there, putting her gun down at her side. She had shot him. He tried to reload but to no avail, the game timer ended, and the lights flicked on. Cheers of victory and groans of defeat filled the room.

“You’re lucky. Now stay away from Harry or I’ll break your dick,” Nick muttered, walking toward the exit. Louis burst out laughing at the strange threat.

“Thanks, El. I owe you,” He said genuinely, pulling her into a clunky hug. Their helmets were momentarily stuck together, but Louis fixed the problem quickly. 

Harry stood ten feet away, hiding behind a pillar. He was going to thank Louis for a wonderful game, and for a rematch, when he saw him hug Eleanor. Harry frowned. His frown deepened when he saw their helmets stick together for a moment. Were they…kissing? He didn’t want to know. Harry rushed out of the room, fighting back angry tears.

Louis saw Harry hastily exit and wondered what was wrong. Then he remembered the talk Harry wanted to have with him later and went from worried to excited. His stomach snarled, and his dizziness came back.

“Do you want a ride home? You don’t look good,” Eleanor asked with a smile. He accepted gratefully, not sure if he could walk all the way back to the house.  
They got into her red convertible and blasted the heat. As they drove away, Louis saw Harry get into Nick’s car. His mood suddenly became sour. They arrived at his house about five minutes later.

“Thanks,” Louis muttered, slamming the door closed before she could say anything back. He unlocked the door, went in, relocked it, then peered out the window just in time to see Nick plant a kiss right on Harry’s pretty lips before hopping back in his car and driving away. Louis marched into his room and locked the door. Screw the talk with Harry. Harry could fall down a well for all he cared.

~

“Hey, Nick? Can you give me a ride? I was gunna walk…but it’s getting chilly,” Harry asked hopefully. He was actually planning on walking with Louis, but Louis seemed more interested in snogging toothpick-whore Eleanor. Harry mentally scolded himself. Jealously brings out his mean side. It was a nice rhyme though.

“Sure,” Nick agreed, unlocking the Mercedes. Harry slid in the passenger seat, still grumpy about Louis and Eleanor. 

They stopped at a gas station and Nick came back with cigarettes and gum. He handed them to Harry.

“What are these for?” Harry asked, confused, but secretly grateful. He was slowly getting hooked on cigs, though he wouldn’t admit to anyone.

“I was hoping maybe if I bribed you a bit you would say yes to a date,” Nick admitted with a sly smile. Nick Grimshaw didn’t _date_.

Harry paused momentarily, “I’m sorry Nick, but I really just want to be friends. You can understand that, right?”

He meant it. Harry _did_ want to be friends. But nothing more than that. Nick wasn’t his type. _Louis is_ , he thought, blushing to himself.

“Yeah, yeah, I gotcha,” Nick grunted, pulling up to the house. Harry got out of the car and walked toward the front door.

“Harry? You forgot your cigs,” Nick called from the window of the car. Harry went to retrieve them, and as he leaned forward, Nick planted a kiss on him, “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

Harry took a step back, and Nick sped off. 

Sighing, he unlocked the front door and saw Louis’ room had a light on. _So he didn’t go back to Eleanor’s flat._

“Lou? Want some tea?” Harry called in the direction of the hall, walking into the kitchen and heating up the pot. He was surprised when Louis didn’t answer. Louis _always_ responded to anything Harry said. He went to knock on the door.

“Lou? You in there?” No answer. He went to Niall’s room and walked through the bathroom that adjoined his room with Louis’. That door was locked too. There was definitely something wrong. He heard coughing from inside the bathroom, and then the showed started up.

Harry went back to the kitchen and made his tea. He leaned against the counter and sipped on it worriedly. The tea tasted weird. He liked it when Louis made it. After the tea was down the drain he went back to knocking on Louis’ door. The shower was off now. He had no reason _not_ to get the door. There was a muffled sob from inside the room.

“Louis? Please, I’m begging. Let me in. Tell me what’s wrong. Anything!” Harry pleaded, sliding down on the wall opposite of the room until his bum hit the floor. He could wait out Louis’ pouting; he’s done it before.

His thoughts drifted, but eventually stopped at what he wanted to talk to Louis about. He hadn’t been eating. 

Harry thought back to lunch with the guys on Tuesday. That was the last time he had seen Louis even take a bite of food. And his entre was a small salad and water. Today was Friday, and he knew Louis must be starving. Why his best friend was doing this, he didn’t know. But he was determined to find out.

An idea popped into Harry’s head. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a package of tortilla shells, a paper plate, a pen, and some paper. He scrawled a note on the paper and shoved it under the door.

**Hello.**

He saw footsteps through the crack in between the ground and door; he saw small fingers pick up the note. Harry shoved the pen under the door as well, which was picked up a second later. He could tell Louis had sat down on the other side of the door by the way the light shined out of the small crack under the door.

_Oh, you’re here? Thought you’d be fucking Nick._

Ouch. That stung a bit, but at lease he knew why Louis was angry. He wrote back:

**Strange. I thought you’d be fucking Eleanor! Seems we’re come to an impasse, my friend.**

He heard a fake growl from the other side of the door.

_What the hell are you talking about?_

**I saw you kiss her. Don’t play dumb.**

_I’m not playing dumb, how could I trick the smartest person on Earth? I didn’t kiss her, our helmets got stuck together. I don’t play for that team, thank you very much._

Harry smiled at the note. He was so relieved that nothing happened between those two. He liked to think of Louis as _his_. He was about to write back when he saw fingers sticking out from under the door. Harry sighed and slid the paper under the door.

_Now, care to explain why you were sucking tongue with Nick?_

His smile vanished. How the hell had Louis seen that?

~

Louis made himself puke. He wishes he could say this wasn’t true, but the evidence was in the toilet right in front of him.

He sighed and hopped in the shower, ignoring Harry’s pounding on the door. When the knocking stopped he got out, toweling off but staying naked. Not like anyone was going to see him. Niall, Liam, and Zayn wouldn’t be back until late. He wasn’t speaking to Harry.

The knocking started again, “Louis? Please, I’m begging. Let me in. Tell me what’s wrong. Anything!”

Nothing happened for a few minutes, and then he saw a note slide under his door. He could clearly read it from his bed.

**Hello.**

How old was Harry? Four? He picked up the note. A pen came under the door as well. He sat down, still naked, and wrote back.

_Oh, you’re here? Thought you’d be fucking Nick._

**Strange. I thought you’d be fucking Eleanor! Seems we’re come to an impasse, my friend.**

_What the hell are you talking about?_

**I saw you kiss her. Don’t play dumb.**

_I’m not playing dumb, how could I trick the smartest person on Earth? I didn’t kiss her, our helmets got stuck together. I don’t play for that team, thank you very much._

Louis finished scribbling out the note and pushed it under the door. Then, he thought of another point to make out. He pushed his fingers under the door, trying to signal he wanted the paper back. It appeared, nothing new written  
.  
 _Now, care to explain why you were sucking tongue with Nick?_

He heard Harry’s awkward cough from the hallway. Good, it was his turn to feel uncomfortable.

**He kissed me after I turned him down for a date. I’m not interested in Nick, nor will I ever be. What I am interested in, though, is you. Why haven’t you been eating?**

Louis gasped at the message. Harry was more perceptive than Louis thought. Another white object came under the door. Another note?  
After looking closer he saw a tortilla on a paper plate. He stared at it, his stomach snarling. 

“Eat me!”

He jumped five feet in the air, only to realize it was Harry who had said that from the other side of the door. Louis picked up the shell, smelt it, and then slowly ate it. He pushed the plate under the door, and another shell came back. Louis was quick this time, practically inhaling it. He started writing “thank you” on the paper, but changed his mind and threw the door open, landing with a thud on Harry.

“Thank you so much, Harry. I just…I haven’t been eating because I feel so..so…gross. And ugly. And I know I don’t have a perfect body like Nick or any of those other boys you’ve been with, but I’m trying so hard to look like them! I know I’m nowhere near perfect. But I’m trying,” He sobbed into Harry. Louis was suddenly painfully aware that he was naked.

He ran back into his room, throwing on the first pair of boxers he saw. He came back out and saw Harry in the same position he had left him in. Sprawled out on the floor, curls messy and eyes bright. An angel right there in his house.

“Lou…please don’t try to be anything like Nick. Or anyone else, for that matter. You’re so wonderful just the way you are. You don’t need to starve yourself to try and make me happy. I fell in love with you, just the way you are, Lou. Look at me Louis. I love your tummy. I love _you_.”

Louis was at loss for words. Harry just proclaimed his love for him, and he couldn’t even say it back! His throat felt like it had mud in it. He reached for the notepad and scribbled onto it, barely looking at the paper, too lost in pools of green.

_I love you too, Harry._

In that moment, in that hallway, in that house, they shared their first kiss. Louis couldn’t believe it. Maybe he _was_ good enough for Harry, after all.


End file.
